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Talk:Mercenary (3.5e Class)

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Please don't delete this class, I started it yesterday. Edit

I begen working on this page yesterday, 10/13/2010. Today I hear it might be deleted because it is incomplete. I am still working on this class and I would rather it was not deleted. It should be finished within a week. Just nobody 02:08, October 15, 2010 (UTC)just_nobody

IIRC, the deletion policy gives you a week. If you need more time than that, move it to a user sandbox or ask someone to do that for you. Also, "complete" by the standards of the wiki basically means that the article looks good (no empty sections), and the article can be dropped into a game without any questions like "what does this ability do." Being reasonably stable (not likely to have major mechanical changes happen to it) is nice too. --IGTN 02:33, October 15, 2010 (UTC)

Sample Mercenary NPC Edit

Name: Killfuck Soulshitter

Race: Tiefling

Notable Equipment: Rapeslay Deathkill (+1 keen falchion, looks like a Buster Sword), a Decanter of Endless Kittens, an egg timer set to exactly 4 and a half minutes, a needle, a bottle of lube

Notable Feats: Power Attack, Cleave, Great Cleave, Martial Stance (Blood in the Water)

Background: Killfuck Soulshitter was born a while ago. Since then, he's being going around killing and destroying things at random, whether they are employers, employees, random passers-by, or puppies. Even all four at once sometimes. After a little while, he also discovered that he can set himself on fire without being hurt, and so he did exactly that. He now rides around on his special mount, Blackdeath Shadowdark, and makes sure that everything near him and around him gets killed. Unless it's his mother - in which case, she'll get fucked, killed, then fucked again.

Strategy: Killfuck Soulshitter starts each morning by killing a kitten using a needle and Blood in the Water stance, to make sure he gets a critical hit. He then sets his egg timer, grabs his stuff and a bag of kittens, and keeps going. Every time his timer ticks up, he pulls out another kitten and kills it on the spot, even in mid-conversation, which has given him some interesting pick-up lines in the past (all of which have led to someone being raped).

If he needs to quickly take down some enemies, he turns the Decanter onto 'geyser mode', drops it on the ground, and gets to cutting down the kittens, Dynasty-Warriors style with Great Cleave, and then goes for his opponent, with Rapeslay Deathkill in one hand, and the bottle of lube in the other. His warcry for such an occasion is "PENIS! CUNT! ANAL CIRCUMFERENCE!" in a thick Scottish accent.

He gets a very bad reception around town. Nobody knows why, exactly. Maybe it's his whole thing about being on fire all the time. Maybe it's the kittens. Killfuck Soulshitter hasn't thought about it, but he suspects it's his awful hair.

Do you think I get across the themes of this class well enough? MisterSinister 21:44, October 17, 2010 (UTC)

This made my life. --Azya 02:06, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
RAPEGORE THE KILLBARIAN APPROVES OF KILLFUCK SOULSHITTER. --RAPEGORE (TK 00:53, October 19, 2010 (UTC))
This warms my heart.--Tavis McCricket 19:59, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

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