Latest revision as of 23:09, 18 October 2017

Created By
Ganteka Future (talk)
Contributors:	Stryker-Fyre
Date Created:	16 June 2008
Status:	Needs more jokes.
Editing:	Feel free to add jokes.

Jokes[]

Have you ever needed a joke to add flavor you a court jester, street performer, amusing child or eccentric fellow. Here shall be a place to find them.

Feel free to add your own.

Joke 1

Q: What do you call peyton

A: A ogre

Joke 2

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in front of a door?

A: Matt

Joke 3

Q: What do you call Luke with no swag

A: Lucas

Joke 4

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting in a hole?

A: Phil

Joke 5

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?

A: Art

Joke 6

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs carried by a knight?

A: Lance

Joke 7

Q: Why do dwarves have such big nostrils?

A: Because they have big fingers.

Joke 8

A horse walks into a bar and yells "Hey!".

Joke 9

Three dragons walk into a bar... there were no survivors.

Joke 10

Two humans walk into a bar, the halfling walks under it.

Joke 11

An ogre walks into a bar with flint and steel. The bartender lets him in but says, "Don't start anything".

Joke 12

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?

A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not gonna come.

Joke 13

Q: What happened to the guy who lost his left arm and left leg?

A. It's ok, he's all right now

Bad Jokes[]

For the jesters that aren't really that funny.

Bad Joke 1

A barbarian, a rogue and a wizard are sitting in a sinking boat. The rogue is hiding so the barbarian throws the wizard overboard.

Bad Joke 2

A barbarian, a rogue and a wizard are sitting in a sinking boat. The rogue is hiding and the wizard teleports away, so the barbarian jumps overboard himself.

Bad Joke 3

A group of adventurers is trying to extract information from a farmer. They finally give up and begin to walk away. Suddenly the wizard says, "I bet the pig could tell us what we need to know". The rogue then says, "Yea, I bet the barbarian could talk to it too, they have the same intelligence."

Pickup Lines[]

Because hey, they happen a lot in bars.

Pickup Line 1

"Is that a rod of lordly might in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

Pickup Line 2

"Maybe it's just your charm spell, but your hotness is overcoming my fire resistance."

Pickup Line 3

"Are you a wizard? Because I was just enchanted."

Pickup Line 4

"Is that your new spell, Stunning Jugs, or is it all natural?"

Pickup Line 5

"Do you want to find out how to soften my Immovable Rod?"

Riddles[]

They're riddles okay.

Riddle 1

Q: A man was once adventuring through a forest when he was captured by a barbaric tribe. As punishment for trespassing he had to choose his death and the tribes shaman told him "if you say a false statement you will be thrown off a cliff and if you say a true statement you will be eaten by dire lions" the man had to outwit the tribe but how?

A: There are three answers depending on how the people who got told the riddle respond.

If they get it wrong: The man says he will be thrown of a cliff, now if the chieftain throws him of the cliff it will be a true statement so he should be fed to lions but then it becomes a false statemnet so he should be thrown of a cliff which is then a true statement and this keeps looping but since the man outwitted the chieftain he is free to go.

If they say the above answer: The man outwitted the chieftain through the above example and since the chieftain hates to lose he bashed the skull of the man, killing him.

The chieftain may also decide to throw the man off of a cliff and then feed him to dire lions.

Riddle 2

Once a king, queen, jester, butler, cook, and maid. Lived in a completely circle castle. But one day the King died. The Queen summoned said people and she asked them "alright who did it" these are there alibis

jester's alibi:"i was prepping for a special show for the king since he paid for my new costume"
butler's alibi:" i was bringing the kings breakfast"
cook's alibi:' " i had started making preparations for the kings lunch after handing the butler his breakfast"

maid's alibi: " i was cleaning the corners"

who did it

A: maid there are no corners in a circle castle

Back to Main Page → 3.5e Homebrew → Other

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{stub|This page is short on content and requires additional material. You can help improve this article by adding your own joke (bad or otherwise).}}
 {{author
 |author_name=Ganteka Future
+|contributors=[[User:Stryker-Fyre|Stryker-Fyre]]
 |date_created=16 June 2008
 |status=Needs more jokes.
@@ Line 7: / Line 7: @@
 }}
-=Jester Jokes=
+=Jokes=
-Have you ever needed a joke to add flavor you a court jester, street performer, amusing child or eccentric fellow. Here shall be a place to find them. Feel free to add your own.
+Have you ever needed a joke to add flavor you a court jester, street performer, amusing child or eccentric fellow. Here shall be a place to find them.
+Feel free to add your own.
-====Joke 1====
+'''Joke 1'''
-Q: What kind of monster brings you chocolates and flowers before it eats you?
+Q: What do you call peyton
-A: A Romanticore.
+A: A ogre
-====Joke 2====
+'''Joke 2'''
 Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in front of a door?
@@ Line 23: / Line 25: @@
 A: Matt
-====Joke 3====
+'''Joke 3'''
-Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake?
+Q: What do you call Luke with no swag
-A: Bob
+A: Lucas
-====Joke 4====
+'''Joke 4'''
 Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting in a hole?
@@ Line 35: / Line 37: @@
 A: Phil
-====Joke 5====
+'''Joke 5'''
 Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?
@@ Line 41: / Line 43: @@
 A: Art
-====Joke 6====
+'''Joke 6'''
+Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs carried by a knight?
+A: Lance
+'''Joke 7'''
 Q: Why do dwarves have such big nostrils?
@@ Line 47: / Line 55: @@
 A: Because they have big fingers.
-====Joke 7====
+'''Joke 8'''
 A horse walks into a bar and yells "Hey!".
-====Joke 8====
+'''Joke 9'''
 Three dragons walk into a bar... there were no survivors.
-====Joke 9====
+'''Joke 10'''
-humans walk into a bar, the halfling walks under it.
+Two humans walk into a bar, the halfling walks under it.
-====Joke 10====
+'''Joke 11'''
-An Ogre walks into a bar with flint and steel. The bartender lets him in but says, "Don't start anything".
+An ogre walks into a bar with flint and steel. The bartender lets him in but says, "Don't start anything".
+'''Joke 12'''
+Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
+A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not gonna come.
+'''Joke 13'''
+Q: What happened to the guy who lost his left arm and left leg?
+A. It's ok, he's all right now
 =Bad Jokes=
@@ Line 67: / Line 87: @@
 For the jesters that aren't really that funny.
-====Bad Joke 1====
+'''Bad Joke 1'''
 A barbarian, a rogue and a wizard are sitting in a sinking boat. The rogue is hiding so the barbarian throws the wizard overboard.
-====Bad joke 2====
+'''Bad Joke 2'''
-A barbarian, a rogue and a wizard is sitting in a sinking boat. The rogue is hiding and the wizard teleports away, so the barbarian jumps overboard himself.
+A barbarian, a rogue and a wizard are sitting in a sinking boat. The rogue is hiding and the wizard teleports away, so the barbarian jumps overboard himself.
-====Bad joke 3====
+'''Bad Joke 3'''
-A group of adventurers is trying to extract information from a farmer. They finally give up and begin to walk away. Suddenly the wizard says, "I bet the pig could tell us what we need to know". The rogue then says, "Yea, I bet the barbarian could talk to it also. <i>they have the same intelligence</i>
+A group of adventurers is trying to extract information from a farmer. They finally give up and begin to walk away. Suddenly the wizard says, "I bet the pig could tell us what we need to know". The rogue then says, "Yea, I bet the barbarian could talk to it too, <i>they have the same intelligence."</i>
 =Pickup Lines=
-Because hey, it happens a lot in bars.
+Because hey, they happen a lot in bars.
-====Pickup Line 1====
+'''Pickup Line 1'''
 "Is that a rod of lordly might in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
-====Pickup Line 2====
+'''Pickup Line 2'''
 "Maybe it's just your <i>charm</i> spell, but your hotness is overcoming my fire resistance."
-====Pickup Line 3====
+'''Pickup Line 3'''
 "Are you a wizard? Because I was just <i>enchanted</i>."
-====Pickup Line 4====
+'''Pickup Line 4'''
 "Is that your new spell, <i>Stunning Jugs</i>, or is it all natural?"
-====Pickup Line 5====
+'''Pickup Line 5'''
 "Do you want to find out how to soften my <i>Immovable Rod</i>?"
@@ Line 107: / Line 127: @@
 They're riddles okay.
-====Riddle 1====
+'''Riddle 1'''
 Q: A man was once adventuring through a forest when he was captured by a barbaric tribe. As punishment for trespassing he had to choose his death and the tribes shaman told him "if you say a false statement you will be thrown off a cliff and if you say a true statement you will be eaten by dire lions" the man had to outwit the tribe but how?
-A:There are three answers depending on how the people who got told the riddle respond
+A: There are three answers depending on how the people who got told the riddle respond.
 If they get it wrong: The man says he will be thrown of a cliff, now if the chieftain throws him of the cliff it will be a true statement so he should be fed to lions but then it becomes a false statemnet so he should be thrown of a cliff which is then a true statement and this keeps looping but since the man outwitted the chieftain he is free to go.
@@ Line 119: / Line 139: @@
 The chieftain may also decide to throw the man off of a cliff and then feed him to dire lions.
+'''Riddle 2'''
-=Ramblings of a Mad Man/Drunk Man/Drugged Man=
-for those times where the ramblings of someone sets the game back on track or just to annoy the PCs.
-====Rambling 1====
-Q: Have you seen this man.
-A: I have seen many of him.
+Once a king, queen, jester, butler, cook, and maid. Lived in a completely circle castle. But one day the King died. The Queen summoned said people and she asked them "alright who did it" these are there alibis
-====Rambling 2====
+* jester's alibi:"i was prepping for a special show for the king since he paid for my new costume"
+* butler's alibi:" i was bringing  the kings breakfast"
+* cook's alibi:' " i had started making preparations for the kings lunch after handing the butler his breakfast"
+* maid's alibi: " i was cleaning the corners"
-"We live in a world where we are all controlled by a god-like figure that controls our lives through magical dice. Think about it" - Local Madman.
+who did it
+A: maid there are no corners in a circle castle
-=Something fun for DMs=
-If you ever want an annoying monster that the players have to get through using riddles here is a suggestion: Ask the PC to invent a completely new colour not a different shade of colours a completely new color. Then watch as they fail because it's impossible and even if they somehow come up with color it is impossible to explain it.
 ----
@@ Line 142: / Line 157: @@
 [[Category:User]]
 [[Category:Other]]
-[[Category:User:Ganteka Future]]

Changes: Jester Jokes (3.5e Other)

Latest revision as of 23:09, 18 October 2017

Contents

Jokes[]

Bad Jokes[]

Pickup Lines[]

Riddles[]